How Comezit? Why is There No Banana Soda?

It’s a question that has boggled the minds of humankind for years:

Why is there no banana soda??

“It’s a PLOT, I tells ya! A CON-spiracy concocted by ‘The Man’ to keep us primates down! ‘They’ want to keep the formula for banana soda under wraps just to keep my species from taking our rightful place as the true rulers of Earth! THE BANANAS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM!!”

“Ah, no, actually. The reason is very simple: the reason that you don’t see banana flavored sodas and juices in wide circulation is simply because a banana doesn’t contain enough liquid to be made into a beverage. Any banana flavored beverage would/will have to be artificially flavored.”

There are, in fact, some banana flavored beverages, all artificially flavored, of course. Among the most notable being Filbert’s Old-Timey Banana Soda…

…And Banana Wave, a soy-based, plant-based banana drink which combines artificial banana flavor with other tantalizing flavors.

Such as Mango, Strawberry and Chocolate.
“Gotta try ’em all!”

There is (or was at one time) even a banana flavored Fanta!

Hope that clears things up.

-Say, while we’ve got you here, Professor, maybe you could fill us in on something semi-related: why is it you never see grape flavored ice cream?

“GRAPE APE! GRAPE APE! That had no relevance to anything, I just didn’t want to be left out of the discussion!”

Oh, that’s a good one. Well, the common belief running around on the internet is that the absence of grape ice cream can be blamed on the Food and Drug Administration, which banned the flavor because of pet-related hazards.

The legend goes that Ben & Jerry’s created a delectable grape ice cream which was then served to a lucky customer who loved it so much that they fed a bit of it to their beloved dog, who immediately died of anthocyanin poisoning. (Anthocyanin is a chemical found in grape skins, and it’s poisonous to dogs and cats.)

After the incident, the FDA ruled that no ice cream manufacturer may sell grape flavored ice cream.

However….

The FDA would never intervene on grape ice cream. After all, chocolate is also poisonous to pets, and you can still buy it practically anywhere.

The actual reason is that when making ice cream at home, you can get fruit like grapes pretty close to a puree, but when you are using fruit as a base on a large scale, that’s when you run into problems. Basically, grapes have high water content, and when manufactured on a large scale, will leave you with unappetizing ice chunks in your ice cream.

It’s also simple supply and demand: there is simply not a huge demand for grape ice cream like there is for, say, chocolate or strawberry or vanilla or even cookie dough.

-So there you have it. Some literal food for thought. That was very informative.

“Say, if you’re interested, I also know a way that Mac Davis’ ‘Baby, Don’t Get Hooked on Me’ can be broken down into an equational algorithm which when applied correctly can control peoples’ minds!”

-Uh, stick a pin in that. Maybe next time.

iViva Los Straitjackets!

A big shout-out to Los Straitjackets, my favorite instrumental surf-rock band of Luchadores!

If you haven’t heard the following tracks from this band, you’ve been leading an empty life:

Rockula

Squad Car

Tsunami!

Wrong Planet

The Mad Scientwist (with The World Famous Pon)

They’ve also done a pretty cool cover of The Munsters‘ theme for the collaborative album Halloween Hootenanny. (And how often do you hear the word ‘hootenanny’ nowadays?)

If Rob Zombie doesn’t call these guys so he can use their rendition of the theme in his new Munsters movie, then I guess he’s not the auteur we thought he was.

Rise of the Mash-Up

Hiya, folks.

Story time: Years ago Jason had considered starting a second blog called The Mash-Up. It would’ve been a more abstract, less rigidly structured and more freeform blog focusing on whatever was going through our minds at the time. I dismissed the idea because I felt it was unnecessary, that there was no need, that nothing could be better than what we were doing on Twinsanity at the time.

I was wrong.

Before I go any further, I just to assure you all that Twinsanity 2.0 is still our long term goal for this site. We haven’t thrown in the towel on that, nor have we given up the dream. The Razzle Dazzle Show and webtoons are still this site’s future, that hasn’t changed, but Twinsanity 2.0 has proven to be such a huge undertaking that we’ve had to move the goal posts back a bit. The process and preparation for the videos and webtoons is taking a little longer than we anticipated, and I don’t want to do nothing in the meantime. For a long time, I just wasn’t inspired to do anything, but in recent weeks and months I’ve seen things, shows, ideas and concepts that I’d like to express my thoughts and opinions on, and I’d rather not have to wait until Twinsanity 2.0 is ready to roll to get them out there; you’ve got to strike while the iron is hot and all that. Long story short, I/we may be putting up some new blog posts in the upcoming weeks and months. These will not be Twinsanity 2.0, nor will they be made instead of Twinsanity 2.0; just something to tide you (and us) over until Twinsanity 2.0 is ready to roll.

However, these new posts come with a slew of caveats; it’s not going to be a continuation of what we’ve been doing up to the point where we left off. Real life, my current schedule and energy levels just won’t allow that, plus I just plain don’t want to work at that pace or continue the kinds of posts we were making then. Going back to what I said at the top, this new slew of posts will follow a different formula: they’ll be done in the Mash-Up format.

“What does that entail?” I’m pretending to hear you ask. I’ll tell you:

For one thing, the pace of the output will be greatly reduced and much more relaxed. I used to make lists of everything that I was planning to do per month. Those days are over. One of the reasons I got out of blogging was that it was starting feel like a job, I was working myself to death trying to put out content. No longer. Starting now I’m only going to pour my attention in a single post at a time, and once that’s done, I’ll move on to something else. I’m only going to make a post when I have something to post, and I’m only going to put something up when I have something worth posting. It doesn’t matter if I only make 2 posts in 6 months as long as those 2 posts are good and entertaining. Quality over quantity. I don’t want to be a posting machine; those days are over.

The upcoming posts will also follow a much looser structure than before. It’s not going to be like before when I would tell myself “I have to do a new Talkin’ Nerdy or TV Special Showdown because I haven’t done one in a while”. I don’t wish to be beholden to all of these fancy categories we created; if something fits into one of the little boxed we’ve created, then I’ll check off said box, but that’s no longer a requirement for a post. It’s a pretty simple formula, really:

I’m going to post what I want to post.

I’m no longer going to feel compelled to make a Retro Bin or a Cartoon Couch or a Talkin’ Nerdy or a Beyond the Background just to fulfill some imaginary quota. I’m going to post whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. (Sidebar: I won’t be continuing the Animal Jam Pop Dream right now; I’m just not feeling it at the moment. I may get back to it one day, but right now it’s just not on my mind. It’s way too much work to be making something you’re not even into. End sidebar.)

Third, expect less snark posts and more general geeking out on stuff we like, and definitely less review-type stuff. I never wanted to a reviewer; that’s just not where I’m at. I don’t want to be known for snark. I like cartoons. I like to make jokes. I like to have fun. The blog posts were starting to not be fun for me, that’s why I stopped, so these new ones are going to be of a more lighthearted nature. I don’t care if it’s something only I know or care about; if it makes my happy or I’m really interested in it, then I’ll make a post about it. I also plan to reduce the amount of fact-checking and research, because that also became a drag for me. Of course I’m not going to post something that’s just plain factually wrong (like saying that Wally Gator was a champion surfer and railroad tycoon who married Jennifer Lopez), I’m still going to keep my facts straight, but I’d much rather joke around and have fun than write up an essay.

Finally, there’s no minimum requirement for the length of these new posts; they’re going to be as long or as short as they need to be. A post can be a lengthy bombastic diatribe or it can be a quick bite no longer than a couple of sentences. We don’t need to be anchored to one specific structure; I likes muh freedom!

So keep an eye out for some new stuff coming soon. You’ll see the new posts, whenever they happen.

rAnDoM tWiNsAnItY!

First, wow, the Animaniacs Something Something Whatever Post now has 237 comments! Kudos! Seriously, thanks for sticking around to keep juice flowing here while we’re undergo reconstruction.

That said, The A! reboot has already happened now, and it’s not really big news anymore, so I don’t think we need to connect the assorted comment post to that anymore. So I’m un-pinning the A! Blah Blah Blah Post and Pinning this one instead. Use it the same way you used the previous one. As always, the same rules for comments still apply: Keep your comments, news and announcements relevant, clean, verified and attitude-free; anything that violates those ain’t gonna be published, so don’t try it and don’t try us. OK, now have at it!

The ‘Animaniacs’ Reboot and Other Assorted Stuff Discussion Post

Jason (Goldstar)’s “No New Animaniacs!’ Unpopular Opinion post was supposed to be him stating how he felt that Animaniacs should be left as-is and not receive a reboot–then Warner Bros. had to go and announce a reboot of the show. Suddenly, all of the comments to that post were about the reboot, thus undermining the point of the original post.

I’m personally not all that psyched for this reboot, but you guys clearly are, because the comments, news and updates about it keep coming. So we’ve decided to make a new post just for discussion about this show. Any new comments anyone has about the A! reboot should henceforth be made here instead of in “No New Animaniacs!”, and any subsequent comments regarding the A! reboot that gets posted in the Unpopular Opinions post will be redirected over to this one. So have at it, folks; personally I don’t have anything more to say about this than what I’ve stated already.