Talkin’ Nerdy/Unpopular Opinions: DC Super Hero Girls is MY Teen Titans

An epiphany can come from the strangest places at the strangest times, can’t it?

The other day last week I was watching this DC Super Hero Girls short:

…And it suddenly dawned on me one reason why I like this series so much.

DC Super Hero Girls is closer to the Teen Titans


…Or Teen Titans GO! series…


…That I wanted.


DCSHG is closer to what I wanted from Teen Titans: more familiar DC characters with closer ties to the iconic DC superheroes (nothing against the 2003 show, but I wouldn’t have gone with the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans team; I would’ve preferred a show starring the Founding Five…


…Or some contemporary derivation thereof; ideally, I’d like for there to have been some non-whites among the team and the odd gender-swap here and there, as the whole “several guys and 1 gal” thing never clicked with me.


Perhaps replace Speedy with Artemis,


Or switch out Garth in favor of Kaldur.


Or better yet Tula/Aquagirl, for some good ol’ fashioned fan-service.)

…Shorter, simpler slice-of-life stories with a greater emphasis on comedy, a diminished presence of villains and fight scenes and no wannabe anime look and feel. Again, I have nothing against anime, but I never felt the whole anime-aping look and feel had any place on the show. It had gotten to the point where some fans got the idea–and who knows where they got this idea–that Teen Titans was actually made in Japan, proving something a friend of mine once said: “It amazes me how half of [Teen Titans]’s fan base has never picked up a comic in their bloody lives.”

Now, let me again point out that I didn’t hate Teen Titans; I liked the show OK, but in my mind it wasn’t the voice and tone that I would’ve used. For my taste, TT was marketed too much and framed too strongly as a boys’ action show (though plenty of girls liked the show too). I have nothing against boys’ action shows, but they’re a dime a dozen.


“COWABUNGA, DUDES! (And dudettes to a lesser extent.”)

My ideal Teen Titans show, rather than being part-action, part-comedy, would’ve been nearly ALL comedy, which I realize wouldn’t have sat right with many hardcore superhero fans, but I feel the comedic format showcasing the “calm between storms” moments depicting what the capes do in their down time was one of the few things Teen Titans GO! got right. Typically when the subject of TTGO! comes up, the biggest complaint I hear wailed towards the heavens is…


“WHY IS IT A COMEDY?????!!!?????”

Personally, I don’t have a problem with a superhero show being a comedy. The whole superhero genre at it’s core is itself very, very silly: it’s about fit dudes and chicks who gain crazy magic powers, don wacky costumes, give themselves goofy names and go out to beat up mad scientists and would-be world conquerors. Superheroes are already as goofy as all get-out, so a lighthearted take on them isn’t that big a departure, folks.

No, my issue with shows like Teen Titans GO!, Ultimate Spider-Man



And Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.


Comes in 5 fun colors! Try ’em all!

…Isn’t that they’re comedies, it’s that they’re not funny. If someone wants to make a jokey and jovial superhero show, then by all means do, but if you’re going to do that, be funny! My issue with TTGO! isn’t that it’s a comedy or that it features little to no actual crime fighting, it’s that the jokes aren’t funny, the characters act like amoral sociopathic a-holes and all of the characters shout their lines all the time. Volume doesn’t make a lame joke funny.

Now here’s what my take on Teen Titans would’ve been like: my TT would have been set in a universe which acknowledged the presence of the adult Justice League members, who would serve as parental figures/mentors to the kid heroes…


It always bothered me how TT depicted the kid characters living on their own with no adults or any kind of adult supervision, and not even so much as a passing mention of the adult DC heroes. I know that bugs me more than it should, but it still bugged me.

…The main setting would be the Hall of Justice…


…Which could probably have a separate guest cottage/quarters/club house for the kids.


The basic crux would be that the adult Leaguers would typically sideline the kids from missions, so while they were off saving the day, the show would spotlight the kid sidekicks at home having wacky shenanigans. There could be the occasional passing mention of some of the League’s missions being overheard on the TV or radio or happening off in the distance, showing the wacky highjinks the kids are getting into alongside of the Justice League stories. On TT, all of the villain whomping and fight scenes would take place off-screen. My take on Teen Titans would basically be like the Justice Friends segments from Dexter’s Laboratory


…Only cuter.



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