Unpopular Opinions: Jubilee

Here’s an unpopular opinion for ya: I don’t think Jubilee (of the X-Men)’s mutant power is lame. Never have and never will.

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Let the sparks fly!

Whenever some comic book or superhero site makes a list of the lamest X-Men and their powers, Jubilee invariably makes the list, and I’ve never gotten that. Yes, over the years the gang at Marvel have come up with some seriously dorky mutants….

 

…Like Jazz, the mutant whose only power was having blue skin, and nothing else. Oh yeah, and he was also possessed mediocre rapping skills. Cool?

jazz

“Blue-yaka-sha!”

dr-smith

Or Longneck, who had a six-foot neck.

longneck

He’s the hero to call should Geoffrey the Giraffe ever decide to knock over a bank.

Or Forget-Me-Not, with the power to be forgotten. And this is useful because…?

forgetmenot-x-men_legacy300

What was I talking about? I forget.

But why is Jubilee always placed in this category? Jube’s original powers were cool. Who wouldn’t want to be able to fire multicolored hot electric destruction from your finger tips?

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Often I hear folks say, “Hur-hur. Jubilee’s powers are stupid. They’re just fireworks. She can’t do anything.” Ah, no. Jubilee’s projectiles are not mere fireworks, they are globules of plasma fired in varying degrees of intensity. Do you not know what plasma is? Allow me to elucidate:

Plasma is the 4th state of matter, after solids, liquids and gases. It is an ionized gas consisting of positive ions and free electrons in proportions resulting in more or less no overall electric charge, typically at low pressures (as in the upper atmosphere and in fluorescent lamps) or at very high temperatures (as in stars and nuclear fusion reactors). One possessing this power could easily short out electrical devices or destroy a house with this power. Jubilee’s powers were actually nerfed on the FOX TV show because a) she was just a kid and her powers hadn’t reached their full potential yet and b) in the comics, anyway, she chose not to use her ability to its’ maximum out of concern for seriously injuring or killing someone. One’s power is not weak just because one chooses to hold back on it. The potential for serious damage is still there.

Jubilee is similar to DC’s Wonder Twins, who are similarly lambasted by fans, critics and comedians for being lame-ohs when in fact their abilities are actually potentially formidable and were more extensive in the comics than they were in their TV incarnation.

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-Speaking of which, let me side track for just a second here. Recently I had a bit of back-and-forth with the same horndog jackass with the Blackfire fetish on the DC Superhero Girls comments section on YouTube. When I casually mentioned that I’d like to see Zan and Jayna on DCSHG, this smug piece of talking moose excrement quipped:

jackass

“I dunno, man. You come off like a weirdo.”

Says the guy who’s obsessed with a D-List villain character. You wanna see a weirdo, douche? Look in the mirror!

pot-kettle

-There, I said it. I feel better. Now back to Jubilee.

Now with the level of respect and enthusiasm that I have for Jubilation Lee, you may be wondering what I think of Marvel’s new incarnation of the Generation X comic book series, with Jubilee at the forefront? My answer is…

stone-cold-steve-austin-hell-no

Yeah, I haven’t read the new Generation X, and I have no plans to. Why? Because it looks dumb and not like anything I’d be interested in. I have no problem with the cast being basically misfits who don’t fit in with any of the other more serious X-Factions; that could be fun if they decide to do it as a comedy, you know, wacky roommate antics, but the characters they chosen for it are unflatteringly lame. Eye-Boy?  A kid with eyeballs all over his body? Disgusting! Nature Girl? A girl with deer antlers who can communicate with animals and plants? What the actual what? It’s like someone at Marvel saw that Robot Chicken sketch about Kid Venison and said, “We should do that for real!” Bling!? The daughter of rappers who’s made of living bling-bling? Seriously?? Yeah, these ideas are too ridiculous, even for comics. (Though I do think that Bling! is a cool name.)

You’re probably asking:

nerd

“But Damon, you should be looking forward to the new Generation X. Jubilee’s back, and she’s the leader this time!”

-Yeah, but it’s Jubilee NOW. Not the Jubilee that’s cool. The current Jubilee has been depowered and without her plasma fireworks for nearly a decade; now Jubes is a vampire who was bitten by the son of Dracula and has a baby?!?

Pardon my French, but….

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“EFF THAT ESS!”

Nah, folks can check that out if it tickles their collective fancy, but I’ll stick with my memories of the Jubilee that I liked, thanks.

 

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