Talkin’ Nerdy: Milky Way VS The Planet Heroes

The_solar_system_by_hyky

Our solar system. Eight planets and one dwarf planet formerly known as a planet moving and grooving around the Sun. It’s where most of live and keep all of our stuff. It’s also been the inspiration for not 1, but 2 toy and fandom franchises.

In this corner, we have MILKY WAY AND THE GALAXY GIRLS.

A funky fresh line of cool girl characters created by Lauren Faust, created with the goal of to offer up to other girls the same kind of joy and inspiration she experienced as a child, with images of girls and women as positive, active, individualistic, fun, and even a little edgy.

A funky fresh line of cool girl characters created by Lauren Faust, created with the goal of to offer up to other girls the same kind of joy and inspiration she experienced as a child, with images of girls and women as positive, active, individualistic, fun, and even a little edgy.

And in this corner, we have THE PLANET HEROES.

A line of toys from Fisher-Price designed for children ages 3–8, depicting various heroic characters each identified with a specific planet. These characters represent their planets in design and features, such as Mercury and Pluto are very small, while Jupiter is a larger toy.

A line of toys from Fisher-Price designed for children ages 3–8, depicting various heroic characters each identified with a specific planet. These characters represent their planets in design and features, such as Mercury and Pluto are very small, while Jupiter is a larger toy.

But which is better? Which is the cooler toyetic take on the solar system? Today, we place them against one another, head-to-head, to find out.

NOTE: While both franchises also boast characters for other heavenly bodies like the Sun, the Moon, stars and the like, for this we’ll only be looking at the characters representing planets. Why? Because I’m incredibly lazy. However we will be covering Pluto, despite it no longer being considered a planet; it was a planet when I was a kid, and I still consider it a planet now. Besides, it’s already been demoted from the cool kids’ table, Pluto’s suffered enough. That said, let’s get it on!

  1. BASE OF OPERATIONS

MWGG!: None

PLANET HEROES: A futuristic Space Base.

Planet_Heroes_Base

ADVANTAGE: Planet Heroes. It’s fun to travel the cosmos, but it’s also good to have a place to hang your hat.

2. PRIMARY MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

MWGG!: Roller Skates…IN SPACE!!!

Just roll with it.

Just roll with it.

PLANET HEROES: Cool jets, star cruisers and other rad vehicles.

“Let’s rocket!”

ADVANTAGE: Planet Heroes. Kicks are cool, but nothing beats cruising through space in your sweet, sweet ride.

3. MAIN TOY TYPES

MWGG!: Plushies

Hello, Dolly!

Hello, Dolly!

PLANET HEROES: Action Figures

Plastic Celebrities

Plastic Celebrities

ADVANTAGE: Push. Dolls, action figures, whether you want to snuggle or beat the crap out of one another, whatever floats your boat.

4. REPRESENTATIVE OF MERCURY

MWGG!: An uber-competitive athletic type.

Feel the burn!

Feel the burn!

PLANET HEROES: Zip, coming with a small gun and a 2 wheeled vehicle, that when rolled back will zip forward.

Planet Heroes Mercury

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. I like the silver outfit; silver’s one of my favorite colors.

5. REPRESENTATIVE OF VENUS

MWGG!: This lovely, pink-haired perfectionist aspiring ballerina, complete with ballet slipper skates (makes no sense, but why not?).

Venus_pose_8_by_fyre_flye

PLANET HEROES: Dazzle, the only female Planet Hero, with a lava launch gun.

Hot stuff!

Hot stuff!

ADVANTAGE: MWGG! Dazzle’s hot, and has a cool name, but she’s the ONLY girl on the team. Token females are so old-school, plus, come on, look at Venus. She’s magically babe-licious! (Plus, forgive me, but I initially thought Dazzle was a boy before I noticed her breasts.)

6. REPRESENTATIVE OF EARTH

MWGG!: None

PLANET HEROES: Ace, a young Earth boy with a Go-Kart, a skateboard and wings.

Planet Heroes Earth

ADVANTAGE: Planet Heroes, by default. I’m sure Ms. Faust gets asked this all the time, but why is there no Galaxy Girl for Earth? It’s our primitive planet, sure, but it’s still a planet. Could she not think of a persona for Earth? Earth also means dirt, so she could be a farm girl in a Daisy Mae outfit. Hey, I’d buy that.

7. REPRESENTATIVE OF MARS

MWGG!: This quirky, kooky, green-skinned artist.

It's not easy being green...and weird.

It’s not easy being green…and weird.

PLANET HEROES:  Digger, a red guy who digs, with a drill and shield.

Dig it!

Dig it!

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. I like how Ms. Faust chose to make the Mars character a stereotypical Green Martian. As a fan of cheesy sci-fi movies, I can’t resist Mars.

8. REPRESENTATIVE FOR JUPITER

MWGG!: A heavenly hippie and animal lover.

Groovy, baby!

Groovy, baby!

PLANET HEROES: Gustus, a really big guy with a robot dog.

Planet Heroes Jupiter

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. While I do like how Gustus is big like his planetary namesake, I also happen to find hippie chicks irresistible.

9. REPRESENTATIVE FOR SATURN

MWGG!: A deep-space DJ.

New_Saturn_by_fyre_flye

PLANET HEROES: Rings, a dude with a ring cycle.

Planet Heroes Saturn

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. I almost gave this one to Rings, since Saturn’s rings are just decoration, but in the end I had to succumb to my love of techno music.

10. REPRESENTATIVES OF URANUS AND NEPTUNE

(I’m listing these 2 together since Uranus and Neptune are twin planets.)

MWGG!: A pair of twin sisters: Uranus, a bookish brainiac…

Schoolgirl outfits are cute!

Schoolgirl outfits are cute!

…And her twin Neptune a space-faring surfer chick.

“Catch the space waves, brah!”

PLANET HEROES: Uranus- Yuri, with a suction cup gun.

Planet Heroes Uranus

Neptune- Tune, a liquid dude with a large vehicle.

Planet Heroes Neptune

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. They’re twins, baby. I don’t think I have to say any more.

11. REPRESENTATIVE OF PLUTO

MWGG!: A hard-rocking, Goth punk girl.

“ROCK!”

PLANET HEROES: Shiver, the smallest Planet Hero with a snowmobile.

Planet Heroes Pluto

ADVANTAGE: MWGG!. Both are cold, but one of them is STONE COLD! A stone cold rocker, that is.

12. BAD GUYS

MWGG!: A sexless entity known as Black Hole.

Black Hole

PLANET HEROES: Professor Darkness, a living black hole aided by minions Photon and Neutron.

Planet Heroes Black Hole

ADVANTAGE: Push. There are no winners here. Remember kids, just say ‘no’ to evil.

Come_to_the_DarkSide_by_sali666

FINAL SCORE: with a whopping score of 7 to 3, our winner is…MILKY WAY & THE GALAXY GIRLS!

Comin_Atcha_FIN_by_fyre_flye

The Planet Heroes had some chops, but in the end, the Galaxy Girls’ quirkiness and fashionable flash edged them out just so slightly.

We end this somewhat pointless venture with a cool space montage.

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