Ad Nausea: Where’s the Cap’n?
For years, sea captain Horatio Magellan Crunch has mystified the public by somehow making his eyebrows float on his hat and sailing the seas aboard the good ship the S.S. Guppy with his crew of 4 children: Alfie, Brunhilde, Dave and Carlyle, as well as canine first mate Seadog (insert your own ‘sea-man’ joke here) encountering various exotic weirdos and just generally being Quaker Oats Company’s cereal pitchman extraordinaire. (The papers stating which naval regiment Crunch actually served under seemed to have mysteriously “vanished” somewhere around the Cape of Good Hope, according to rumors. Well, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it.)
Then, one fateful day in 1987, the good Cap’n just…disappeared. Since no corporation should ever pass an opportunity to turn crisis into profit, Cap’n Crunch’s going missing sparked a huge promotional campaign and a tie-in sweepstakes. It also gave birth to this, a music video (???) written by Rick Derringer, the man responsible for the Hulk Hogan ditty “I Am a Real American”.